THE VILLAIN (1979): A Comedy That Misses Every Target

Arnold Schwarzenegger’s career is filled with iconic roles that showcase his charisma, physicality, and screen presence. Whether he’s a relentless killing machine in The Terminator, a battle-hardened warrior in Conan the Barbarian, or even a fish-out-of-water dad in Kindergarten Cop, Schwarzenegger has proven time and again that he can dominate the screen. Unfortunately, 1979’s The Villain—an early misfire in his filmography—is one of those rare cases where not even the future action megastar could salvage the disaster unfolding around him.

Directed by Hal Needham (Smokey and the Bandit), The Villain is a slapstick Western comedy that desperately tries to blend the broad humor of a Looney Tunes cartoon with live-action hijinks. While this concept might sound like it has potential, the execution is so painfully unfunny, disjointed, and cringe-inducing that the film feels less like a movie and more like an extended, bad joke that no one has the heart to stop telling.

A Plot Straight Out of a Cartoon (But Without the Charm)

The story centers on Handsome Stranger (Schwarzenegger), a naive and ridiculously good-looking cowboy tasked with escorting a beautiful woman, Charming Jones (Ann-Margret), across the desert. Hot on their trail is the titular “villain,” Cactus Jack (Kirk Douglas), a bumbling outlaw determined to rob them. Along the way, we’re treated to endless gags involving Cactus Jack’s over-the-top attempts to stop the duo, including dynamite mishaps, collapsing rocks, and collapsing everything else.

It’s clear the film is going for a Road Runner vs. Wile E. Coyote vibe, with Douglas’s Cactus Jack standing in for the latter. Unfortunately, what works in a seven-minute cartoon feels unbearably stretched at feature length. The gags are repetitive, the humor juvenile, and the pacing so sluggish that even the film’s short runtime of 89 minutes feels like a chore. Worse yet, the script seems to think that repeating the same joke over and over will make it funnier, but instead, it only amplifies how tired and unimaginative the material is.

Schwarzenegger as “Handsome Stranger” – A Misstep in Casting

Let’s be honest: Arnold Schwarzenegger’s strengths lie in his physical presence, his ability to deliver badass one-liners, and his surprising knack for comedy when given the right material (Twins and True Lies come to mind). Unfortunately, The Villain gives him none of these opportunities.

As Handsome Stranger, Schwarzenegger plays a character so naive and oblivious that he feels like a parody of himself. He rides a white horse, smiles vacantly, and delivers his lines with the stilted awkwardness of someone still learning the ropes of acting—and, in fairness, that’s exactly what Schwarzenegger was at the time. This was only his third film after Hercules in New York (1970) and Stay Hungry (1976), and his inexperience is painfully evident.

While Schwarzenegger would later learn to embrace his accent and limited range as part of his charm, here he’s saddled with bland dialogue that undercuts any potential he might have brought to the role. Compare this to his portrayal of Conan the Barbarian just three years later, where his commanding presence and stoicism perfectly fit the character, or his iconic turn as the Terminator, where his limited dialogue was used to great effect. In The Villain, however, Schwarzenegger is completely out of his element, reduced to a pretty face and a punchline that never lands.

Kirk Douglas Deserved Better

Kirk Douglas is a Hollywood legend. This is the man who gave us Spartacus and Paths of Glory, roles that cemented his place as one of the great actors of his generation. Watching him mug for the camera as the hapless Cactus Jack is nothing short of depressing. To his credit, Douglas throws himself into the role with gusto, committing to every pratfall and ridiculous gag as though he’s in an actual cartoon. But even his energy can’t save the material, which feels beneath him at every turn.

Seeing Douglas flounder in The Villain is akin to watching Schwarzenegger slog through Batman & Robin as Mr. Freeze—it’s an embarrassing low point in an otherwise illustrious career.

A Misfire in Every Sense

Visually, The Villain does little to impress. The desert landscapes are bland and uninspired, and the slapstick stunts—while clearly intended to evoke the spirit of silent-era comedians like Buster Keaton—come off as cheap and unimaginative. The score by Bill Justis is as forgettable as the film itself, recycling the same comedic cues in a way that grows tiresome long before the credits roll.

Hal Needham, known for his work on car-chase comedies like Smokey and the Bandit, seems completely out of his depth here. The film lacks the energy and pacing that made his previous work successful, and his attempts to emulate cartoon logic in live-action fall flat.

What Went Wrong?

The biggest issue with The Villain is that it doesn’t understand how to balance its tone. Slapstick comedy can work in live-action, but it requires a certain level of wit and cleverness that is completely absent here. The jokes are juvenile, the characters one-dimensional, and the pacing so lethargic that even the broadest humor falls flat.

This is especially frustrating when you consider how much potential Schwarzenegger would later show in comedic roles. Films like Twins and Kindergarten Cop proved that he could be genuinely funny when paired with sharp writing and directors who understood how to use his unique presence. In The Villain, however, he’s reduced to a prop—a blank slate for the film’s thin jokes to bounce off of.

Final Thoughts: A Western That Should Have Stayed in the Dust

It’s rare to find a film in Arnold Schwarzenegger’s career that’s as unwatchable as The Villain. Even his worst efforts (Hercules in New York, Batman & Robin) have a certain campy charm that makes them fun in their own way. The Villain, however, is neither fun nor charming—it’s a tedious, unfunny slog that wastes the talents of its cast and crew.

If you’re a Schwarzenegger fan hoping to explore his early work, skip this one and go straight to Conan the Barbarian or The Terminator. Those films showcase the qualities that would make him a star: his physicality, his charisma, and his ability to dominate the screen. In The Villain, those qualities are buried under a pile of bad jokes, poor direction, and a script that seems to actively hate its audience.

Arnold may have been “Handsome Stranger,” but in The Villain, he’s trapped in a movie that’s anything but attractive.

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