KILLING GUNTHER: When a Schwarzenegger Film Goes Up in Smoke

Arnold Schwarzenegger is a living legend. The man who gave us Terminator’s iconic “I’ll be back,” who carried Predator on his brawny shoulders, and who made Kindergarten Cop somehow both hilarious and touching, deserves better than Killing Gunther. This so-called “action-comedy” feels like a lazy Saturday Night Live sketch stretched to its breaking point, a film that promises so much with Schwarzenegger in the titular role but delivers almost nothing.

Directed and written by Taran Killam, who also stars in the film, Killing Gunther fancies itself a mockumentary about a group of bumbling assassins trying to kill the world’s greatest hitman, Gunther (Schwarzenegger). On paper, the premise sounds like fun: a mix of dark comedy, action, and a larger-than-life Schwarzenegger playing what could have been a self-parodying meta role. In execution, however, it’s a disjointed, unfunny mess that wastes its potential, its cast, and most egregiously, its star.

A Story That Shoots Blanks

The plot follows Blake (Killam), an insecure hitman assembling a crew of fellow assassins to take down Gunther, the best in the business. Think Ocean’s Eleven, if the team were composed entirely of idiots. There’s the tech guy, the explosives expert, the poisoner, and a few other forgettable archetypes. The “humor” is meant to come from how inept they are at their jobs and how Gunther always seems to be one step ahead. But the jokes rarely land, and the mockumentary format—complete with shaky handheld cameras and talking-head interviews—feels forced, as if the filmmakers were trying to replicate the magic of The Office or What We Do in the Shadows without understanding what made those works so sharp and effective.

Gunther himself doesn’t even show up until the last third of the movie. Yes, you read that right: Schwarzenegger, the main draw of the film, is relegated to what is essentially an extended cameo. It’s like going to see Jaws only to discover that the shark doesn’t show up until the final 15 minutes. When he does finally appear, it’s in the form of a hammy caricature—dressed in gaudy Hawaiian shirts and cracking groan-worthy one-liners. While Schwarzenegger is clearly having fun with the role, his charm can’t save the flat script or the lack of anything resembling comedic timing.

Cardboard Characters and Missed Opportunities

One of the film’s biggest failures is its characters. They’re not characters so much as walking punchlines, and even that might be too generous. Cobie Smulders, as Blake’s ex-girlfriend, is utterly wasted in a role that adds nothing to the story. Hannah Simone (New Girl) and Bobby Moynihan (SNL) try their best to inject life into their respective roles, but the material gives them nothing to work with. The supporting cast is a mishmash of unfunny stereotypes, and the mockumentary format fails to bring any depth or charm to their interactions.

It’s especially disappointing because Schwarzenegger has proven, time and again, that he thrives in ensembles. In Predator, he played off an eclectic team of rough-and-tumble soldiers to create palpable tension and camaraderie. In The Expendables, he added just the right amount of tongue-in-cheek swagger to the action-packed group dynamics. Here, the ensemble drags him down, like a squad of rookie basketball players fumbling around Michael Jordan in his prime.

A Dull Visual and Auditory Experience

Visually, Killing Gunther is uninspired. The handheld camera style could have been used to create chaotic energy, but instead, it just feels amateurish. The action sequences lack any sense of danger or excitement; they’re either poorly choreographed or drowned in cheap CGI explosions. It’s almost tragic to think of Commando’s exhilarating one-man-army set pieces or Total Recall’s imaginative sci-fi landscapes while watching the drab, uninspired visuals here.

The soundtrack is equally forgettable. For a movie that’s supposed to be a comedy, the music does little to punctuate the jokes or set the tone. Even Schwarzenegger’s bombastic on-screen persona feels neutered by the lack of a pulse-pounding score. Compare this to True Lies, where the music heightened both the action and comedic beats, or even Twins, where the jaunty score complemented Schwarzenegger’s comedic timing perfectly.

A Movie Without a Theme or Purpose

What is Killing Gunther trying to say? Is it a satire of action movies? A meta-commentary on the absurdity of contract killers? A vehicle for Taran Killam to prove he can direct and star in a film? The answer seems to be none of the above. The movie is devoid of any meaningful themes or insights, relying instead on tired clichés and Schwarzenegger’s legacy to carry it.

Compare this to Last Action Hero, a film that also leaned heavily on Schwarzenegger’s image but did so with clever self-awareness and a genuine love for the genre. Where Last Action Hero critiqued and celebrated action films in equal measure, Killing Gunther feels like it’s mocking both the genre and the audience watching it.

Schwarzenegger Deserves Better

Let’s be clear: Arnold Schwarzenegger is not the problem here. Even in his brief screentime, he shows flashes of the charisma and humor that have made him an enduring icon. He embraces the absurdity of Gunther’s character with gusto, and there’s a brief scene where he plays the piano while delivering a monologue that feels like it belongs in a better movie. It’s a reminder of what could have been if the script had given him more to do.

Schwarzenegger has always had a knack for comedy, whether it’s the slapstick antics of Twins or the over-the-top machismo of Commando. But Killing Gunther gives him no material to work with, and the result is a role that feels beneath him.

Final Thoughts: A Total Misfire

Killing Gunther is a frustrating experience, not because it’s the worst movie ever made, but because it squanders so much potential. With a better script, sharper direction, and a deeper understanding of what makes Schwarzenegger so magnetic, this could have been a clever and entertaining film. Instead, it’s a hollow, half-baked attempt at humor that fails to deliver on every front.

If you’re a Schwarzenegger fan, do yourself a favor and skip this one. Revisit his classics like Terminator 2: Judgment Day or even his underrated comedic turns in Junior or Jingle All the Way. Those films remind us why we love him. Killing Gunther, on the other hand, is best left forgotten—a misstep in an otherwise legendary career.