HERCULES IN NEW YORK (1970): A Legendary Failure in Every Sense

Every great star has to start somewhere. For Arnold Schwarzenegger, that “somewhere” is Hercules in New York, a film so gloriously bad that it has achieved a kind of infamous cult status. Released in 1970, this was Arnold’s first film role, back when he was still known as Arnold Strong (the producers didn’t think audiences could handle “Schwarzenegger”) and just beginning to transition from his Mr. Universe bodybuilding days to Hollywood stardom.

If you’re a fan of Schwarzenegger’s later career—his indelible work in The Terminator, Predator, Total Recall, or even his underrated comedies like Twins—Hercules in New York is a baffling watch. It’s not so much a “so bad it’s good” movie as it is “so bad it’s unwatchable.” While it’s fascinating to see Arnold at the very start of his journey, this misguided attempt to thrust him into the world of cinema is nothing short of disastrous.

A Story That’s as Absurd as It Is Incompetent

The film’s “plot” (a term I use loosely) is simple enough: Hercules, played by Arnold, grows bored of life on Mount Olympus and decides to visit Earth. Zeus, displeased with his son’s rebellious behavior, banishes him to New York City, where hilarity is supposed to ensue. Instead, we get a series of disconnected scenes where Hercules bumbles through the Big Apple, awkwardly interacts with mortals, and occasionally flexes his muscles to remind us that, yes, this is Arnold Schwarzenegger.

The story is pure nonsense from beginning to end, but that’s not the problem. Plenty of great comedies have ridiculous premises. The problem is that Hercules in New York doesn’t know what to do with its premise. It awkwardly switches between slapstick comedy, romance, and half-hearted action, failing spectacularly at all three. Hercules ends up wrestling a grizzly bear in Central Park (in what is clearly a man in a bear suit), befriending a taxi driver named Pretzie (played by Arnold Stang, who seems to have wandered in from a different movie), and occasionally shouting back at Zeus.

There’s no real conflict, no stakes, and no sense of progression. It’s just a series of awkward moments strung together with the flimsiest narrative thread. Even the worst of Schwarzenegger’s later films (Jingle All the Way, Batman & Robin, The 6th Day) at least managed to have a cohesive story. Here, there’s nothing to hold on to.

Arnold Schwarzenegger: The Wrong Hercules at the Wrong Time

Arnold Schwarzenegger is one of the most charismatic action stars of all time, but that charisma is nowhere to be found in Hercules in New York. To be fair, this was his very first acting role, and his inexperience is painfully evident. He stumbles through his lines, delivering dialogue with all the subtlety of a talking statue. To make matters worse, his thick Austrian accent was deemed unintelligible by the producers, so they dubbed over his voice with a generic, flat-sounding American accent.

The result is surreal: you’re watching Arnold’s iconic physique, but the voice coming out of his mouth is entirely wrong. It’s like watching The Terminator but with someone else badly impersonating him. (Thankfully, some modern versions of the film restore Arnold’s original dialogue, which, while still awkward, is at least more authentic.)

Hercules, as a character, is supposed to be larger-than-life, confident, and heroic. While Arnold certainly looked the part, his wooden performance and lack of experience made him utterly unconvincing. Compare this to his later roles in Conan the Barbarian or The Terminator, where his stoic demeanor and physicality perfectly suited the characters. In Hercules in New York, he’s reduced to flexing his muscles and looking confused, a far cry from the commanding screen presence he would become.

Supporting Cast: A Misfit Ensemble

If Arnold’s performance is bad, the supporting cast is downright baffling. Arnold Stang, as Pretzie, is the polar opposite of Schwarzenegger in every way. Where Arnold is hulking and stoic, Stang is wiry, loud, and cartoonish, like a vaudeville comedian trapped in a Greek mythology parody. Their odd-couple dynamic might have been funny with better writing, but here it just feels grating.

Zeus, played by Ernest Graves, spends most of the movie shouting at clouds, while other gods like Juno and Mercury pop in and out with little to no impact on the story. The film’s version of Mount Olympus looks like a cheap high school theater set, complete with togas and fake clouds. It’s impossible to take anything seriously, even in the context of a comedy.

Production Values: A Masterclass in Incompetence

From the opening frames, it’s clear that Hercules in New York was made on a shoestring budget. The sets are laughably bad, the costumes look like something you’d find in a bargain bin, and the special effects are nonexistent. Even for a low-budget comedy, the production is shockingly amateurish.

The fight scenes are a particular low point. Whether it’s Hercules fighting sailors on a ship or grappling with the aforementioned man-in-a-bear-suit, the choreography is so clumsy and poorly staged that it’s hard to believe anyone thought these scenes were ready for release. For a man whose career would later be defined by iconic action sequences (Predator’s jungle warfare, Commando’s over-the-top carnage, or even Total Recall’s sci-fi brawls), this is an embarrassing start.

The film’s portrayal of New York is equally unimpressive. Despite the title, it never feels like Hercules is in a bustling metropolis. The city feels strangely empty, with most scenes taking place in nondescript parks, cheap-looking apartments, or generic streets.

A Misstep That Highlighted Arnold’s Determination

If there’s one thing you can say about Hercules in New York, it’s that it didn’t stop Arnold Schwarzenegger. While many actors might have seen this catastrophic debut as a sign to quit, Arnold doubled down. He took acting lessons, improved his English, and worked tirelessly to refine his craft. Within a decade, he went from this laughable start to starring in Conan the Barbarian (1982), which finally capitalized on his physicality in a way that felt epic and appropriate.

It’s fascinating to compare Hercules in New York to The Terminator (1984), the film that made Arnold a household name. In both movies, he plays a character that feels out of place in the human world, but while Hercules is a comedic failure, The Terminator turns Arnold’s otherworldly presence into a terrifying strength.

Final Thoughts: A Failure of Mythic Proportions

Hercules in New York is a film that’s bad in every conceivable way: the acting is terrible, the script nonsensical, the production values laughable, and the comedy painfully unfunny. As a piece of entertainment, it’s nearly unwatchable. As a historical curiosity, it’s mildly interesting, if only to see how far Arnold Schwarzenegger would come from this disastrous debut.

If you’re an Arnold fan, there’s no need to watch Hercules in New York unless you’re a completist or in the mood to see what happens when great careers begin with a colossal misfire. For everyone else, do yourself a favor and skip this one. Instead, revisit the classics like The Terminator, Predator, or even the lighthearted fun of Twins. Arnold’s career may have started here, but his true legend began elsewhere.